Q.  Why Should I Honor My Parents?

This week's scripture:  

Ephesians 6:1-3  Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother" - which is the first commandment with a promise- "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."

 

 This week's study is about obeying and honoring our parents. But what if our parent is asking us to do something wrong? What if a parent doesn't deserve honor?

 

 Parents, don't read this Bible study. O.K. I knew you would anyway. There are a lot of parents that won't like some of this study. That's because they think it will make them look bad. But I want the teens to learn from your mistakes and sins, even if you won't admit you were wrong.

 

 Hey teens, here's why we are having this study. According to the statistics, over 70% of the teens reading this do not live with their blood father and mother in an intact home. That's depressing. There are a lot of reasons. Sometimes (but not often) it is because a parent died. There is no sin involved with that. But if you live with only one parent, or a step-parent, or foster parents, then someone didn't obey God's laws. If everyone obeyed God's laws on dating and marriage, there wouldn't be divorces or teens living in single parent homes. The only reason one person could divorce is if the other one sinned. So if you live in that situation, someone messed up, and it wasn't you (the kid). There are tons of Bible verses on dating and marriage, but most of you are old enough to worry about that yet. This Bible study is for the teens in these "broken" homes. If you live in an intact family, cool, you are lucky. Read this so you can understand to help most of your friends.

Do I always have to obey my parents? Most of the time, yes. I wish all of you had parents who made a strong effort to raise you in a Godly home. That doesn't always happen. Even if you have good parents, sometimes they will ask you to do something that you shouldn't. Has your mom ever asked you to tell someone on the phone that she wasn't home? Has your dad ever asked you to tell someone he is sick when he isn't?

 If your parents ask you to do something that is a sin (like lying, stealing, cheating) then it won't be a sin to disobey them. You might get punished by your parents, but not God. (Special note: Most parents are pretty cool and will understand if you politely ask them not to tell you to do something wrong. If you live in a house where a parent will abuse you, do what you need to do to be safe. I hope that if you are in that situation you will seek help from someone in authority. Thanks "K" for pointing out that some adults are abusive.) And don't try to find a scripture somewhere that says it's a sin to cut grass or wash dishes, it's not there. I've looked!

 

 For teens that don't live with both parents it is even tougher. Sometimes adults will use their teens to get at an ex-spouse. Your dad might ask a lot of questions about your mother. Your mother might ask you to tell your dad something that isn't true. It isn't fair, but you are being used as an information tool. If this is happening to you, then ask your parents (politely, always) to talk to each other. Tell them that when you get to be with them you want to be involved with them.

 What if my dad doesn't deserve honor? Sometimes they don't! Adults do stupid things sometimes. If your dad (or mom) left the family to marry someone else, I wouldn't want to give them any respect! Even if they don't deserve it, you have to honor your parents. Even if you think you hate them, you should honor and love them. You don't have to act like them. But they are your parents, and God used them to bring you into this world. If they don't deserve honor, then pray for them. Ask God to give them the wisdom to see their errors, and to give you the wisdom not to make the same mistakes your parents did.

 Whatever you do, don't think of your parents as a god.  Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone sins. If you know your parents messed up, promise yourself and God that you won't make the same mistakes.

 If my parents are divorced, does that mean they are going to hell? Like I said earlier, if you live in a divorce or single parent home, someone sinned. But guess what? Everyone has sinned. Including me. Including your pastor. Including you! Any sin that brought on divorce can be forgiven. The sins that bring on divorce are not any worse than stealing, coveting, or anything else. Hopefully if your parents have sinned, they have asked God to forgive them. The bad thing is that parents who do the sins that cause divorce not only mess up their lives, but the lives of their teens, too.

 

So,  you should obey and honor your parents. It will make things a lot better around the house. No matter how much they have messed up, I have never met a mom or dad that didn't love their teens.  And God even promises that if you honor your mom and dad, he will give you a long life!

This week's prayer:

Dear Father,

 Thank you for being the all powerful loving God. In everything that happens, I want your will to be done. Please help my parents make good decisions, for themselves and our family. Help me to be a better kid. Help me to obey and honor my parents.

 Thank you for being our healer, provider, comforter, and God.

 Amen.